It's not a secret that I took the stay-at-home-mom thing pretty hard when we moved to our present city alittle over three years ago. I was pregnant, hormonal and in shell shock that my life had changed so drastically from what I thought it would be. I'd never planned on staying at home or being without a job, but without going into detail, that's what I ended up doing and I'm still doing it. But in taking on that role, I also adopted the mentality that I didn't deserve anything for myself, be it trendy, fun, or normal thirty-something doings. I'd beat myself up for buying anything and half the time, I'd end up returning it! But lately, I've been looking at things differently.
You know, I've been getting rid of a lot of stuff lately. Everything from tops that don't fit my post-pregnancy body to books I never thought I could part with. Having a toddler and a new baby doesn't give you much time to daily "tidy up," so I take my cleaning inspiration when I can get it! For example, this evening, after cleaning the parameter of our bathroom floor with a tissue (you know, where all the dust & hair go) I moved on to our shared cabinet on the countertop. I bought this cabinet when I was dating my husband and it became a permanent fixture in the three master bathrooms we've shared during our marriage. He has his side and I have mine, although my toiletries have definitely encroached on his space without a single complaint (seriously). For a few months now, I've been thinking about throwing away these two lotion bottles that only have about an eighth left in them. But THESE are the two lotions that I used during the first summer of our courtship and the scents take me immediately back to 2001. Of course, in their present condition they don't even smell anymore so I don't know why I kept them for this long in the first place (but I did, because I'm nostalgic!). So, in moving forward, I tossed them. It was time; it didn't seem like I needed them anymore. I mean, I still have all my memories AND I got the guy, so why do I need those old lotion bottles? I even purged a few other things from the cabinet. And I didn't even shed a tear while doing it.
In addition to getting rid of things, I'm also buying myself some fun items that have nothing to do with diapers, pull-ups or children's clothing. I've gotten a new lipstick, a book, scarf, couple pairs of shoes and I'm sure some other stuff, too. These are all unnecessary things that were not part of the "I'm a mom now, so I am not a priority" mentality. And you would think that now with two kids I'd be pinching the pennies even more (don't worry, I'm still a coupon/deal fiend!), but lately I've been realizing that it is okay to give myself a little treat every so often. I don't want to be resenting this period of motherhood as that time when I rarely did anything for myself. I don't want to decide that it's okay to be stylish again when the kids are grown, not as needy and I'm suddenly 50! These might seem like silly statements, but I guarantee I'm not the only mom out there that's felt this way. Well, I'm turning over a new leaf! I don't know why or what's caused it, but I've decided that I'm no longer on "pause." I really feel as if my life, our life, is moving forward to where I want to be. By the way, since my little revelation as of late, this whole period of "motherhood" is suddenly accompanied by a whole lot of contentment and happiness. Funny how that works, huh?
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Too bad I missed the interview but I found this. I hear you concerning the putting yourself last. Although I have incrementally spent more on me, I still sometimes feel like I shouldn't have (after all this money could've gone into the savings account). Most of the time hubby says "you rarely spend money on yourself" when I tell him I'd like to buy this or that. Quality thrift stores and consignment shops are a good place to buy nice things without the guilt. I have in fact received the most compliments on clothing I have purchased at these places.
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