Night Owl turned Parent

Do you ever find yourself forcing the book closed that you’ve been reading for the past 3 hours, just so you can claim to be a responsible person now that you’re a “parent” and you’re trying to get on a better schedule? And in closing said book, you turn off the light, adjust the covers and lie there remembering how for the past 3 hours you’ve been yawning and bargaining “just to the end of this chapter…., then I’ll put it down." And now, with the book and light taken care of, you wait for sleep to appear. But what really happens is that you continue to think about your book and how much you are enjoying your book; and why did I close my book and turn off the light again? And suddenly, you realize that your husband is aware of the fact that it’s one in the morning and you’ve just now turned off the light. Although he shakes his head at why anyone would pass up the chance to sleep, a God-sanctioned holiday in his mind, he is silently proud of you for turning off the reading lamp. What he doesn’t know is what lies in wait in your mind: My book. What happens next? I’m almost done, I’ll just finish it tonight. Why am I wasting all this time thinking?! I wonder if I could turn on the light again without him noticing? Hmmm? Now, I’m far from tired and mentally stimulated, so maybe I’ll quietly slip out of bed and …..darn it, he’s awake! And even though it’s pitch black in the bedroom, with the exception of the baby monitor light, I can feel his disappointed look as he accusingly says, “What are you doing?” What am I doing? I’m not quite sure, I just know that I’m awake and wishing that I had slipped my book under my nightshirt before I left my side of the bedroom. Now I can’t possibly retrieve it without him seeing me in the bluish glow of the baby monitor that I’m holding. Initially, I had reached for both the monitor and the book, but he woke before I could stealthily grab them and sneak into the living room.

Why would anyone, he quietly thinks, stay awake reading this long when they know that after the baby wakes, and only 4 hours of sleep, they'll be greeted by child #2, a 3-year old that is ready for the day the moment the sun peeks through her drapes? Why would anyone do that to themselves? But these are the consequences that you knowingly embrace when you are a night owl!

I feel as though I am betraying my husband, because I am not the wife that desires an automatic bedtime slumber at 10:30pm, but a night owl that yearns for the reading of a book into the wee hours or the spontaneity of making corn muffins at 2am, just because it sounded like a good time to make them! Man, I love corn muffins! And any A.M. zombie-like repercussions of my late night accomplishments are well worth it! We night owls are capable of being inspired to do just about anything at 1am! Ever reupholster a couch at midnight because there’s going to be a TNT marathon of Jaws starting? Sorry, I can’t deny that I’ve done this.

Well, it is now 1:36am and I’ve decided to try and go back to bed now. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s part of the compromise of marriage and I don’t want any more disapproving looks from the other side of the bed. Or maybe I know that the baby will definitely wake in the next 2-3 hours and I should give in to a responsible action like “getting enough sleep,” so I can possibly function as a human being during the sunny hours (Zombie Mommies are never peppy!). Possibly that I have now lost my motivation to make corn muffins or read my book by the small dresser lamp. Anyway, it could also be that I'm feeling old. I mean, I’ll be 35 in October and a baby and preschooler really have put a cramp on my night owl lifestyle. I probably should start getting more sleep, but it’s so difficult when I have so much to do after 10:30pm! Surely, there are others that can relate to my nocturnal adventures! So for the moment, I'll be responsible and return to bed and see what happens. Night.